Over the years as a care partner, I’ve experienced countless epiphanies—some profound and others seemingly small but impactful nonetheless. These insights have helped me become a better listener, care partner, and ultimately a better person.

One key realization involved “one-up” stories—those moments when someone shares their experience, and I instinctively chime in with a similar story of my own. While my intention is to connect, I’ve realized that it’s not always about me. Sometimes, true connection comes from simply listening without needing to share my perspective.

Another common pattern I’ve noticed is offering unsolicited opinions. Even with the best intentions, I’ve learned that it’s not about showing what I know. Listening without interjecting can often be the best way to show support.

Interestingly, through these epiphanies, I’ve come to realize that I may not have been as good of a listener as I once thought. This awareness has been humbling but transformative. Working with a mindfulness coach in 2024 solidified this lesson. I’m learning to quiet my mind and be fully present in conversations. This shift has had a profound effect on my ability to care for Doug. I’m better able to hear not only his words but also what his environment is communicating, helping me assist with his communication more effectively.

It’s been a win-win, and honestly? I’m really liking it.